because theft is illegal
by day i am just a regular loser, by night i am the same loser only it’s nighttime
It’s amazing how fast your mood can change after you step in some water with socks on.
Nothing is more annoying than having feelings for someone who is so wrong for you.
in 6th grade i got really bad nose bleeds and i could tell 2-3 minutes before i got them. i sat next to this really religious kid so to scare him i said “hail satan” as my nose started to drip. he passed out and never came back.
Date idea: buy me a bunch of Girl Scout cookies and watch me eat them all
|me:||*doesn't sleep around*|
|me:||*doesn't get knocked up*|
|me:||*stays up passed 1am; maybe goes downstairs to make a sandwich or something*|
|parents:||WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU WHY ARE YOU UP SO LATE DID WE TEACH YOU NOTHING WHERE DID WE GO WRONG YOU'VE WOKEN UP THE WHOLE HOUSE YOU HIDEOUS DEVIL CHILD YOU'RE DESTROYING THIS FAMILY|
what if childbirth is just the pain of the 9 periods you missed
and all this time i thought it was the baby ripping through your vagina